She Said: I know that every women has one of those friends that you will never trust with your man. In my experience I had an associate that always found a way to be around my man. Made contact with him thinking I didn’t know. She was just finding every reason to be around him when I wouldn’t be around. What upset me about it was she thought she was being slick. The way friendship is suppose to be is you trust your friends no matter what. You shouldn’t have to choose when to trust or when not to trust them.
In my relationship I trusted my husband enough to let him know, that I don’t trust this chick. And I expect him to handle the situation accordingly. Do I trust my friends with my husband??? The answer to that is HELLLL NOOOO!!!! What I notice about some females is they get attention anywhere they can. Even if its from someone else’s man. Some women are needy and they will get it however they can.
As women we have to follow our womanly instincts(that gut feeling). If you gut is telling you to keep your man away from your trashy friend. Then do it and let him know how you feel about her and why. He should handle the situation appropriately. I also think women know something isn’t right but we choose to ignore it, for whatever reasons. Don’t ignore it no matter what!!!
He Say: As men, I am pretty sure that we can all say with confidence that we have all been in a situation like this sometimes without good reasons. I think that unless a friend has proven that in every instance of interaction between them and your significant other that they will give a complete report then the gut reaction is to not trust a friend around your man/woman.
We trust our friends with everything including our children but when it comes to interacting with our mates that is where the line seems to be drawn. Why? This may be for a few reasons: I think as a people our insecurities get to us. We are drawn to our partners for any number of reasons and we love them for that. For that same reason we become overprotective of our partner’s qualities and guard them as if they our own.
Question: If you were/are attracted to your partner for whatever reason don’t you think others will be too or are you two moths to the same flame that no one else is allowed to see or touch?
As for women, I find it amusing that they say they are “friends” with women and in the same breath tell a story of perceived betrayal and go “this is why I don’t have women friends!” Is it because these certain women acted like your friend and then struck out for something that was yours or did you no longer want to be their friend because they see what you have and they are attracted to it and you feel that something may transpire???
I think the latter but what do I know…. Insecurities allow you to draw conclusions on situations that may not have happened and they justify your feelings.
I always tell my lady, I trust her as much as I can ever trust someone. She is my best friend and confidante. If I am thinking anything from how I am feeling to if I think a lady has a nice backside (yay!) She’s likely the first to know. I also trust my friends. As people we all lie, steal, cheat, and lust but as I know my friends and I know my lady, I say I would trust my lady not to betray me if she was in a room of my “friends” and they were all naked! (an extreme, I know…) In the same token, as I know them, I wouldn’t trust my friends in a room with my lady naked. Has a situation happened? Not at all… but I know my dudes think with their dick and they’re attracted to ass, while my lady is attracted to heart and they have none of the qualities that she is into. Maybe I lucked out.…
Regardless, the point is do not let your insecurities get the best of you and cloud your judgement. Unless a situation has arised that gives credibility to your feelings and your instincts trust your friends like you trust your partner. How do you not know that your friend isn’t trying to be sneaky and “move” on your man but rather just wants the “friend” that you have? Is that wrong? Is that not allowed? If so.. then state that to your friend. Otherwise, you may be throwing a friendship out the window unnecessarily.
